Many of us suffer from what I call "word blindness". The brain is a wonderful part of our bodies and it's function is to get the correct information to us at speed. This is why when we see a jumble of words on a page so long as the first and last letter are correct our brain makes up the middle.
For example:
In a perxect woxld we woxld axl be rxch
In a perfect world we would all be rich.
Okay, so when we are reading through our manuscripts our brain tells us it's perfect.
I have found a simple solution to this. Most editors will tell you to put the M/S away for a few weeks and then go back to it. Or, print it out and read it.
So what if we haven't got three weeks to spare?
The solution came to me by accident. I posted a critique on my critique group wall and it came up in a different format. I noticed errors straight away.
So the solution is:
Copy your m/s into another document to keep it safe.
Every time you sit down to edit, select all and change the font to a significantly different one.
Or change the background color of your page.
At the end of your polishing it is easy to revert back to the original font.
Common problems:
Learning how to show and not tell a story.
Telling: She felt hot. She blushed.- Wrong.
Showing: Her face grew hot. Heat rushed into her cheeks.- Correct.
Telling: She felt cold.- Wrong.
Showing : An icy breeze brushed her skin.- Correct.
Putting the re-action before the action is a frequent error.
She screamed as her feet caught fire- incorrect.
Her feet caught fire and she screamed in agony. - Correct.
Head hoping- how to keep POV.
By adding adjectives to the second character you can easily keep the main character's POV.
Lucy lifted her chin and gazed into John's blue eyes. ( Lucy's POV- why? Because she can see his blue eyes) John took her shoulders and bent to kiss her succulent lips. ( John's POV...why? Because he can see her succulent lips)
This is head hoping so we need to keep Lucy's POV.
Lucy lifted her chin and gazed into John's blue eyes. John 's expression became intent, he took her shoulders in his large hands and bent to kiss her. ---- Here we can see John through Lucy's POV.
I hope this helps.
H.C. Brown
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
How to show not tell by H.C. Brown
Showing and telling is like a switch in your head...okay. We just
have to turn it on. I've sat in lectures/workshops but over the years
I've taught and tutored I've come to the conclusion that our brains can only
absorb so much information and then we get confused. So I've picked out a few
things you need and set them up in a way to turn on your lights :-) If I
am correct print this up and keep it close by as a reference when you
are writing, it will help a lot.
Telling: She felt hot
Showing: Her face grew hot.
Telling : She felt cold/ she knew it was cold
Showing: An icy chill seeped through her blouse.
Telling: He realized he'd hit his head/ he banged his head.
Showing: Pain shot through his temple.
So go through your manuscript and do a search for she/he
felt, knew, thought, was.....these are usually signs of telling unless in dialogue.
Reaction before Action. On the whole using
"as" is a lazy way of writing and it's the way we speak which makes
it even more confusing. So do not to use ‘as” to
join two actions that are happening in a sentence out of sequence. Remember an
action is followed by a reaction.
Wrong:
She screamed as the house caught fire.
He flinched as the door burst open.
Correct:
Flames licked under the door and a curls of acrid smoke burned a
path into her lungs. "Help!"
The door flung open and smashed against the wall. Hairs rose on
the back of his neck at the sight of the demon.
Dialogue Tags:
These are unnecessary and, he, said , he replied etc are
redundant. If two people are in a conversation, if one speaks then the other is
replying. The reader doesn't need to be told this. Every publishing house I've
been with have insisted they be removed.
Using Action Tags, you set the mood of the scene so
think about this:
"How dare you," John said angrily.
"I'll do whatever I please," she replied.
What image does the above dialogue give the reader....not
much.
So by removing the dialogue tags and adding action you create
the mood of the characters.
John slammed one large fist into the table overturning the bud
vase. His hard gaze lashed her face."How dare you."
Jane couldn't face him and her attention went to the trail
of water spilling across the desk. She gathered her courage and lifted her
chin. "I'll do whatever I please."
Can you see the mood of both the characters?
Using the action tags with the dialogue adds what I call
ambience....the mood, feel, scent of a scene.
Keeping POV.
In the scene above, can you tell who is the POV character and
why? It's Jane because she sees his "One large fist." and we have her
inner thought "Jane couldn't face him." Always add an adjective to
the other character to keep POV. Remember only the POV can see, eye colour, a
twisted smile, large hands, brown hair etc.
Pause and EM-Dash.
In dialogue when a person pauses in conversation you use the
three dots . . .
Am EM-Dash is when speech is cut off by an interruption of
another person or action:
“Oh darling . . . please don’t go.” (Pause in
speech.)
“John I —” (
Interrupted )
“Don’t say another word—” He threw the papers in her face.
“—just look at these.” (Interrupted)
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Club Flogger's Collections 1 & 2 Available now!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
New Release- Roll Play- Club Floggers 9
H.C. Brown's Best selling Club Flogger's Series continues with some crazy antics from rockstar Seth and his Dom, Kall. Seth, drummer of the famous rock band, Cold Heat, enjoys a little role-play and Kall takes his pup on a hot ride over the edge.
Tags for this product
bdsm, bondage, club floggers, gay bdsm, hc brown, m/m, m/m erotic romance, role play, spanking
Excerpt:
"Don't look at me, keep your mouth shut. I’m gonna let go of your hands. Pull up your pants and hold them but leave that hot cock exposed for all to see. Good boy, now walk back to the studio." He shoved Seth in the back.
How does he know about the studio? It’s the biggest kept secret since Roswell. Freezing air cut into his skin and his balls ached. The man’s cold hand rested on the bare skin of his back. With every step Seth glanced around the empty street, surely, someone would come.
"Stop. Turn around and put out your hands." He pushed Seth against a tree surrounded in shadows.
Seth complied. The frozen bark scratched his back. The stranger grasped his wrists in his large hand and lifted them high in the air. Fear strangled the cry in his throat.
“Move and I’ll cut off your balls. Understand boy?”
Seth gripped the tree behind him. “Yes, Sir.”
The man gazed at his shrunken shaft, his breathing ragged. The knife pressed against Seth’s belly the man dropped to his knees and lifted the edge of his balaclava. He had full, luscious lips, and dark stubble dusted his chin. Seth swallowed. He resembled his Dom, had his lips, his chin, but not his voice. Could this be Kall acting out his wildest fantasy?
"Ask me to suck you, boy."
Seth trembled. Dear God what was happening? The knife pressed against his flesh. “Please suck me, Sir.”
The stranger lowered his head and groaned.
So damned good, Seth shuddered with the thrill of forbidden excitement. His captor’s tongue flicked out like a snake, circling the tip. Then his warm mouth surrounded him suckling and tugging him into erection. The stranger growled in appreciation and bobbed his head.
Seth panicked. He shouldn’t be enjoying this. . .fuck! "Please . . . I can't . . . I can't do this."
"You are and you’re loving it. I can taste how much you want me." The stranger ignored Seth's pleas, and suckled harder.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Tamsin Baker's New Release from Escape Publishing!
Too Busy
for Love
By
Tamsin Baker
Blurb:
He
needed a job — he never expected to need his boss.
Thomas's
life can be pared down to one principle: Be as successful as possible by being
as single-minded as possible. But his commitment to his goal is tested upon
returning home to his mansion and finding his gorgeous new gardener in his
library.
Luke is
a student, and his new job is perfect: decent income and a place to study
that's quiet, peaceful, and stocked with useful resources. The last thing he
expects to find there is a stunning man who offers to open up all the doors
that Luke has yet to be brave enough to peek behind.
Thomas
is happy to wait for Luke to come to him, but when he does, Thomas has no
intention of holding back...
Excerpt:
I’m
studying architecture and you have some pretty awesome textbooks. I was just
making some notes.”
Thomas
nodded mechanically and sat down in the chair opposite Luke. This was not what
he needed— to find out his gorgeous, young gardener was intelligent too. Crap.
Talk! Just talk to him. “How long have you got to go?”
He choked out.
Luke
groaned theatrically and rolled his eyes. “Two long years. But I’ll get there.”
Thomas
smiled at the artless way Luke had of moving and talking. But the question was,
was he gay? Were his smiles a come-on,
or the act of a guileless young man?
Luke’s
blue eyes sparkled. “You’re home late, sir.”
Thomas
opened his mouth and said something he had never murmured to a staff member
before, “You can call me Thomas if you like.”
Luke
cocked his head in an adorable way, his blue eyes showing surprise and
pleasure.
“Sure...Tommy.”
Thomas
couldn’t stop the moan that escaped his lips at the sound of such a nickname
from this gorgeous young man. A name he
had banned all previous lovers and friends from using. He didn’t like the sound
of it, it sounded common. Well, it
used to.
“I
don’t usually let people call me that.”
Luke
stood up and smiled. “Really? Why not?”
Thomas
stood up also and moved forward so that they almost nose to nose. His need to
touch this guy was an almost painful yearning. Luke’s eyes widened in surprise
but the pupils dilated in arousal also. Thomas followed his instincts and
pushed forward.
“Because
it sounds like something my lover would call me.”
Luke
blinked several times but didn’t move back.
Thomas
took that as assent and lifted his hands to cup Luke’s jaw. His skin was soft,
with the faintest feeling of bristles against his palm. He brought his face a
scant inch closer.
He
felt Luke’s gasp against his lips but pressed forward and moaned as their skin
met. Luke’s lips were soft, juicy and full of potential. He stepped closer so
that their bodies were touching, Thomas’ cock hardened as it rubbed against the
younger man. He groaned again and coaxed Luke’s lips open.
Luke
opened to him slowly and Thomas took advantage, tasting and licking the inside
of Luke’s mouth. Enjoying the softness, the way Luke’s tongue hesitantly met
his.
The
soft moan Luke emitted caused Thomas’s body to harden unbearably, and then Luke
was pushing him back with a gentle hand.
Thomas’
head was swimming as though he was drunk and he staggered back a few steps so
that he was in the centre of the room again. He was dizzy with pleasure and was
throwing caution to the wind. He knew he should have spoken to the head
gardener first to find out what sort of employee Luke was. He should have
talked to his lawyer, but he didn’t. He just opened his mouth and said what he
wanted.
“I’m
gonna have a bath. Wanna join me?”
Luke’s
mouth fell open as his eyes scanned down Thomas’ body. Thomas knew his erection
would be obvious in the dress pants he wore. It was hard and uncomfortable, but
he didn’t care. Luke needed to see what was on offer.
He
reached up and pulled his tie down, part of his seriously lust-fogged brain
wondering if he was about to be sued for sexual harassment.
“Well?”
He raised an eyebrow at the beautiful boy still staring at him.
He
threw his silk tie down onto the chair, shrugged off his jacket and began
unbuttoning his shirt. His stomach tightened in excitement as he waited for
Luke to make the next move.
About
the Author:
Tamsin Baker is an Aussie girl who only discovered erotic
romance twelve months ago. Before that she read sexy romance, skipping the plot
and looking for the ‘good bits.’ Since then she has written and obtained twenty
contracts of varying lengths for her erotic romance and erotica novels. She
absolutely LOVES reading and writing it! She has two other jobs, kids and a
hubby too – but writing is a passion that she has to indulge for fear of
insanity.
M/M is a passion of hers so even when she writes ménage, there
is always an M/M story. She particularly enjoys writing Female dommes, but she
loves experimenting in all genres. She is learning to write and read more, one
step at a time. Soon, she’ll have stories published in every sub-genre of
erotic romance – well that’s her aim anyway.
Author
Links:
Buy
Links:
Amazon:
ARe:
Escape
Publishing:
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